Happy Birthday Eva

My wife's turning 39.

They say it's the ones with the zeroes at the end that freak you out, but in Eva's experience, the nines are much worse. She's been a tad angst-y about the impending three-niner for a couple of months now. Nothing I say seems to have any effect. Typical man I am, trying to fix things that can't be fixed, right?

Except--and love, I'm talking directly to you here--it's not that it can't be fixed, it's that it isn't broken in the first place. Far from it, in fact. You're in the best shape you've been in since you were a teenager. No, better than that, actually, because you smoked back then. You're losing weight and further developing that awesome pile of muscle. 

Most people having age-related crises think to themslves shit, here I am turning none of your business and I'm old and decrepit and where did my life go and there's so much left to do but I don't know what it IS and 

That ain't you, love. Never has been: never will be. Think about it a minute: you've lived, what, how many lifetimes in that 39 years of yours? If I were to write down all the things you've done, all the things you've seen, and all the people you've touched, I'd have to stop after a thousand pages and label it Volume One. You've been bad, you've been good, you've seen the bad in the good and the good in the bad and you're much wiser than most folks I know for all that experience. 

And just look at the commitment you've made to get in shape, to become an athlete. I know it's daunting at times--hell, it's daunting enough to me, just sitting here looking at it, that I get tuckered out and want to go to bed. But--admit it--you're enjoying yourself pursuing this. You're enjoying life, with all its stresses. To a certain point, the more stress you pile on, the more you love it. 

(You're a freak and I love you...)

You are what most people can't even imagine being: fully engaged in the world. You reached spiritual old age a LONG time ago but you still have the heart and curiosity of a child. And you're  still tapping potential all over the place. 39? Two numbers signifying nothing at all. 

I'll continue to try and teach you the joy of boredom, as you coax me to partake in more and more of life. We make a helluva team, you and I, and as far as I'm concerned, we're more than a match for a puny number like 39.

Happy Birthday, love. You mean more to me than words can say.

Your,

Ken