Skip to main content


Showing posts from May, 2012


click to enlarge--if you dare

The above is an actual resume submitted somewhere in Ottawa, as found on Reddit
It is disturbing and depressing. Terrifying, even.
After you've skimmed through this thing and noted the lowlights highlights, check out this person's education. He (I'm assuming it's a he; girls usually care a little more about how stupid they appear in public) claims to be in grade twelve. The final year of mandatory education in Ontario. I wonder what his future educational plans are. Does he want to perhaps major in seince? 
And in terms of future employment, the possibilities seem limitless. Government always has fileing to do, after all. Or he might just spend the rest of his life working at Tim hortians and hangging with his friends. 
I AM NOT BRAGGING when I say I knew how to spell every word in this resume by grade two, I distinctly recall getting in a heated argument with a classmate in second grade over how to spell the word "operation" …

The Flip Side of the Coin

So what brought that on yesterday? Why did I feel the need to publicly affirm I've got it pretty damned good, when normally such a statement goes without saying?

It'sbecause the law of gravity has been repealed. ("There is no gravity: the Earth just sucks.")

No joke, it seems like the world is teetering on a precipice of late, and my personal world, well nowhere near as dramatic, has reflected some of the zeitgeist.

Larger world first. It's wobbly. Greece is fixing to abandon the Eurozone; the fact it never should have been admitted in the first place has finally dawned on the movers and shakers. The markets continue to be held aloft on who knows what, but most people look at the stock market nowadays and snicker. (The Dow's new motto: "Delusional since 2008!") Everywhere I look I see jobs disappearing, wages being cut, pensions being slashed, and the government -- which used to at least pretend to be on our side, once -- is firmly in the pockets of…

The Good Things, Part 1

Whenever I'm feeling put upon, irritable with fatigue, or just plain (ahem) hotter than the hinges of Hell, I try to take several mental steps back and look at the good things in my life. Of which I have an abundance.

I'll detail the obvious ones first.

 Eva. She's a big one.

 She's spent parts of the past several weeks, quite rightfully, taking care of her dad, which has left me by turns lonely and pissed at myself for feeling something as trivial as loneliness, given the situation. It's just that, as I said recently elsewhere, despite having been together for nearly thirteen years, I for one still feel newly wed. It's interesting, though, to recall my life's circumstances just prior to our first meeting. I'd been without a girlfriend for a couple of years at that point, and had only recently come to fully accept that fact. I won't say I cherished being alone, but I was okay with it. Somewhat content.
It was only in hindsight that I realized how mu…


I will try to keep the bitching, whining and moaning to a minimum this season. Try. I can't guarantee success. Maybe it'll help if I get it out of my system right now.

It's hot.

It's too #$&*ing hot.

I'm not cut out for summer in southern Ontario. When the temperature gets much above 20 (68F, otherwise known as 'room' temperature), I get cranky, and when it settles around 30 (87F) or higher for a spell, I get downright miserable.
We get one day of lead time before the house starts exuding heat, inside and out, like a giant bellows in a blacksmith's foundry. The thermometer in the kitchen reads 28, the humidex is somewhere around sweaty-seven, and the design specs on my model of skin pallor are surely exceeded.

Nights are worse.

Yes, we do have an air conditioner in the bedroom...but if the temperature outside goes below 20 overnight, it'll freeze up, so it's only good on the nights that are still to come. So we make do with the Twindow fan, …

Depart From Me, I Never Knew You

I'm losing a friend.

This isn't the first friendship I've sunk, nor even the first friendship of long standing. (Though interestingly enough, this time it's the only other person I mention in that Breadbin entry.)

It hurt to dump Jen. It damn near kills to dump Darlene.

I've written about Darlene before...twice. Which is nothing to the number of times I wrote about her in 1988 and '89, let me tell you. Her name appears in my diary an average of more than once a day over those two years. (No, I wasn't a stalker...just a sad, forlorn, lovesick teenager.) The friendship spiked in the summer of '89, trembling on the knife-edge of becoming something much deeper, then settled down into a low drone. I lost contact with her for a few years, eventually found her again on Facebook, and picked up the threads as if they'd never dropped. She was my first love, and it does not detract from my love for my wife one iota to say I never stopped loving her. Still do, …

What To Do With Monsters?

"But most tragically of all, you have snuffed out the life of a beautiful, talented, vivacious little girl ... And for what? So that you could gratify your twisted and deviant desire to have sex with a child. Only a monster could commit an act of such pure evil. You sir are a monster."
--Justice Thomas Heeney, to Michael Rafferty, upon sentencing him for first degree murder, kidnapping, and sexual assault

Sir, yet.

I can think of many things to call Michael Rafferty -- monster is perhaps the mildest of them -- but I don't think he merits sir.

Rafferty was convicted in the bludgeoning death of eight-year old Victoria "Tori" Stafford, who was abducted on her way home from her Woodstock, Ontario public school on April 8, 2009. Rafferty's then-girlfriend, Terri-Lynne McClintic, procured Tori for him, in a chilling echo of the Paul Bernardo/Karla Homolka case twenty years ago. 

Tori was raped and beaten to death with a claw hammer. Despite being convicted on all coun…

State Of The Art

My latest musical obsession is one I appear to share with much of the world: Gotye.
As usual, I'm late to the party: the song Somebody That I Used To Know unaccountably managed to reach #1 in eighteen countries--and stick there for quite a while in many of them--before I'd heard it so much as once.

(Aside: it appears I really should watch Glee if I want to keep ahead of the curve in modern pop. That said, I probably won't. Right now I'm willing to set time aside for one television show a week, and there ain't nothin' gonna touch Game of Thrones.)

I pirated its album, Making Mirrors, listened to about half of it, went to bed, and then started dreaming some of the songs, including that one. I woke up singing it. At that point I erased the pirated copy from my hard drive and went and bought the album in iTunes. The deluxe version, no less, with six videos. I've got the other two albums as well, the first of which iTunes declines to stock: apparently they don&#…

The Right To Be Offended

Anyone who thinks the U.S. is just Canada with guns, or that Canada is just the U.S. with health care, needs to read a couple of stories.


...and contrast.

The first story concerns Dan Savage, the openly homosexual relationships columnist, and a seminar he gave in Seattle. He said the Bible is full of, quote, "bullshit". At which point several Christians in the audience staged a walkout, and all hell continues to break loose.

Meanwhile, here at home, a student in Nova Scotia was suspended from school for wearing a T-shirt that reads "Life Is Wasted Without Jesus". Some students and teachers, whose lives are evidently wasted, were offended. The student is recalcitrant; he's prepared to sit out the rest of the year if need be.

You get the sense that T-shirts reading "Life Is Wasted Without Jesus" comprise the top half of many school uniforms, Stateside. And that if Savage had given his talk in Chester Basin there'd be barely a media blip.


Going Moldy....

Show more