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Showing posts from September, 2014

Full Disclosure

We weren't going to make it to see Craig this time.

My friend Craig--professional trumpeter, music-man and all-around wonderful person--was performing in The Addams Family at the Grand Theatre in London. Since he lives in London, this is what he'd doubtless refer to as a "preferred gig", a run that comes complete with seeing his wife and son every morning and going home for a nap between matinee and evening performances if he wants to.
Since I don't live in London, actually seeing this performance looked unlikely. At almost the last minute a Saturday-sized hole in our schedule opened up and, Craig re-jigged things so we could attend with his family, and...what better way to spend a Saturday night?

I was going into this one almost blind. My cultural tapestry is riddled with holes you could drive a truck through: one of them is The Addams Family. The first show was before my time; the second one is background nattering every once in a while, not because Eva watches

Trigger Warning!

TRIGGER WARNING: The following trigger warning will mention several triggers. The mere sight of these words is toxic to some people, and therefore those people should stop reading now and go to bed. Unless something really awful happened to them in a bed once, in which case I apologize for not posting a trigger warning about the word "bed". I am sincerely sorry for any offence I may have caused and I will undergo sensitivity training forthwith.

TRIGGER WARNING: The word "rape" will appear in this post more than once. So will the words "gay", "trans", "man", "woman", and, oh, yeah, "polyamory"--trust me, that last one's there for a good reason, even if I can't figure out what that reason is--and if any of those pixel-patterns are traumatic for you, please retire to your safe space at once.


Polyamory has come a long way since the early nineties when …

Was I born too late? or too soon?

I certainly don't feel as if I was born at the right time.

There is no doubt civilization has evolved markedly over the past century, in many ways besides the obvious technology. We have come a long, long way. There's a black man in the White House, a reality unthinkable as little as forty years ago: what's even more amazing, in the light of history,  is that people are disappointed with him and it has nothing to do with his skin colour.  Gay people are increasingly free to be who they are and love who they will; "bastardy" is a concept out of time that would need to be explained to many people, and then further explained why it was once considered such a stain on one's life. Information, which always longed to be free, is freer than it has been at any time in human history. Superstition is slowly being supplanted by science, in a process that started centuries ago. 
And yet, you can turn every one of those undeniable accomplishments on its head. That black m…

Snarkery: another ramble

Oh, I'm in a ranty mood today.

Paulina Gretzky's pregnant. The Great One is going to be a grandpa.


In my world, newspapers would not report the successful birth of human beings, let alone their successful conceptions, no matter how famous some relative of theirs might be. Paulina Gretzky is a DD-level Hollywood starlet; somehow I don't think she's the famous relative. Her father was a sports star of some repute, I understand. Big whoop. The achievement we're reporting here is accomplished every day by thousands and thousands of people worldwide. Some of them have fathers (and mothers) who were genuine heroes. Don't see their names in the papers, do you? Your little lump is going to be loved every bit as much as Paulina's will be, and isn't that what really matters?

I started racking my brain for exceptions to this rule and Eva immediately suggested royalty. William and Kate's ripening second kid may someday have some entirely cerem…

Random ramble: good/bad life update

Eva and I went to a munch last week, a couple of days after we got back from our cruise.

A munch is just a meeting of like-minded people over food, usually held at a restaurant or bar. This one was at the Huether Hotel, a place I hadn't been to since my first week in this city almost twenty five years ago. There are dozens of them monthly in our city alone, covering every conceivable interest; it seems like a good way to get out of the house and meet people.  Eva had been to a completely different munch a couple of weeks before, and had a great time. This one was something we would share, and hopefully enjoy. It was also my first opportunity to put my words from the last blog into practice.

It did not go well. At all.

I guess it says something that I'm willing to put myself out there and meet people. Though I have to tell you, the mere thought of walking into a room full of strangers with the express intent of making them not-strangers ties my stomach in knots. It…

A Key To Ken

I mentioned in one of those cruise recaps that I came to an epiphany in Key West.

I am a man of contradictions. I'm fairly intelligent (he said, modestly), but at any time I'll unwittingly do something ridiculously stupid. I'm extremely empathetic, but even more absent-minded, which can make me appear rude and uncaring at times. My heart is an open book (actually, it's more like a library), but around strangers I tend to seal myself off. And I thrive on touch...but only if I know you.

I can explain all those contradictions, and they all make sense in the context of who I am. But I became aware of one in Key West that makes no sense at all. Oddly enough, I've written about both halves of this contradiction several times...but never linked them.

We were on the trolley tour and the guide (who was a real hoot) was talking about Fantasy Fest, an annual celebration very much like Mardi Gras in New Orleans. This one happens to feature a hundred thousand naked people.


Cruisin', Part III

It was obvious from early on Mexico morning that Cozumel was going to be the highlight of this trip for most of our fellow passengers. The energy on the ship was palpable.
At least half the ship hadn't even bothered debarking at Key West.  I figured their all being from Florida had something to do with it (seriously, the number of people from Miami alone I ran into was staggering)...and I'm sure the 7am port time in Key West had even more to do with it. Seven in the morning, on Carnival Victory, was a time one would start thinking of going to bed.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, dear reader, but Cozumel was not such of a much for us, and even less of much when we actually got off there.
Victory is on the left. The ship on the right is the Carnival Elation, and there was a third Carnival ship (Vision of the Seas) a couple of piers over
Now, I kind of wish we'd done the Mayan ruin excursion. But it was a hundred bucks a person and Eva has historically had problems with extr…

Cruisin', Part II

I think I've given the impression that I really didn't enjoy myself on this cruise. That's not true at all. I had a very good time that happened to be marred by many tiny issues, any one of which would have passed almost unnoticed. And furthermore, most of the issues were mine, not Carnival's or Victory's.

There was, of course, the matter of that first day. It started at 11 p.m. for me and not much later for Eva. Travel is always stressful...well, for me, leaving home always gives me a low-grade case of stress. The three-hour delay in boarding certainly didn't help. By four o'clock, as we gathered at muster station H for a mandatory safety briefing that nobody took seriously (and to be fair, they could just as easily have announced it all without passengers needing to leave their staterooms), I was ready to start pitching people overboard and so was Eva. Our irritations fed off each other...we were both exhausted, and all my worst personality traits come ou…

Cruisin', part I

I don't think I've ever been so glad to be home.
Eva and I just got back from our first cruise. It was, shall we say, an experience.
Before I get into it, I'd like to explain a few things, (sort of) acknowledge one you-told-me-so, and rebuff another.
There are two cruises on my bucket list. One is Alaska; the other is the Danube River cruise. Before we could even think of starting to save up for either of those, we thought it might be a good idea to try a little starter cruise, to wit: four days and nights aboard the Carnival Victory, itinerary Miami-Key West-Cozumel-Miami. As with all our vacations, a lot of thought went into this one. Not enough thought in a few areas--I'll get to those later--but a lot of thought nonetheless. For instance, we chose an aft cabin with a balcony.
Now this was questioned by one of Eva's colleagues, who wondered why we would spend all the extra money on a room when it's just a place to sleep. The thing is, for us, it isn't. T…