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Showing posts from January, 2018

Rule 33

Rule 34: 'If it exists, there is porn of it'.
Rule 33: If it exists, I have overthought it.
Rule 33(b): 'If it does not exist, I have overthought it into existing'.

"My name is Ken B. and I'm an overthinker."
"Hi, Ken."

"Can I say just how nervous I am, here in this room with a group of strangers? I've never felt at ease in groups like this, because what are you all thinking about me?"
"We're not. Ken, we're not thinking of you at all. Oh, shit."
"Damn it, you mean you're not thinking about me AT ALL? I'M RIGHT HERE!"
"That's not what I meant, Ken, you know that. Calm down, deep breaths. You have our undivided attention in a non-threatening way. Why don't you tell us some of your background?"

Ugh, where do I begin. "I guess it started back in my pre-teens. I was a lonely kid, a bullied kid, a kid deeply uncomfortable in his own skin. It felt as if I was the only one of my ki…

Aziz Ansari

I don't like hookup culture.

For those who do, and who are able to navigate its shoals and whirlpools without being humiliated and violated, I offer admiration tinged with puxzzlement. I feel very strongly that just trying to initiate sex outside the context of a committed relationship is incredibly risky. I feel like there's far too much of a chance of things going sideways.

I'm sure there's a protocol for no-strings-attached sex that somehow manages to avoid being objectifying, but I wouldn't pretend to even guess what it is, since for me, the whole idea of NSA sex is insanely objectifying. Sex without emotion just feels so empty to me. I've referred to it as a game of poles and holes, and without emotion to hold you to a person, that person becomes disposable. The thought that a person can be disposable disgusts me.

Enter Aziz Ansari, the latest "victim" of the #MeToo movement.

You're damn right "victim" is in quotes. Various columns …

"You Just Don't Get It"

There’s nothing “wrong” with anything. “Wrong” is a relative term, indicating the opposite of that which you call “right.” Yet, what is “right”? Can you be truly objective in these matters? Or are “right” and “wrong” simply descriptions overlaid on events and circumstances by you, out of your decision about them? And what, pray tell, forms the basis of your decision? Your own experience? No. In most cases, you’ve chosen to accept someone else’s decision. Someone who came before you and, presumably, knows better. Very few of your daily decisions about what is “right” and “wrong” are being made by you, based on your understanding. This is especially true on important matters. In fact, the more important the matter, the less you are likely to listen to your own experience, and the more ready you seem to be to make someone else’s ideas your own.

--Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God, Book 1

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.


Those Things Moms Say

My ear is plugged.


Same ear (the left) as last time, which was about a year and a half ago. Coming up on a week now. I have a doctor's appointment for Monday in case the home treatments persist in not working. So far, nada. Murine, lovingly administered by Eva, followed up with what seems like half a hundred turkey basters-full of warm water. Bloosh. Occasionally I'll fill like it's working...for a minute or two.

No pain, but holy shitballs is it annoying. I'm almost completely deaf in my left ear.

It got me thinking, because I'm pretty good about keeping my ears clean. (Apparently NOT, you waxy horror, you...shut up, peanut gallery.) I've always used a Q-Tip like everybody else--

What's that, you say? "Never stick anything in your ear that's smaller than your elbow"?

Thanks, Mom.

My mom used to say that. It was one of her stock admonitions. I'm sure your mom had a bunch of them...I think there's some class they all take....Less…

Guest Post: Eva on Resilience

My wife is one of the most resilient people I know.

She's bloody well had to be. The amount of bullshit that's been dealt to her is by turns maddening, saddening, and occasionally darkly amusing. I joke sometimes that Murphy -- he of the Law -- was an optimist. Even things that can't go wrong seem to go wrong, and Eva picks herself up, dusts herself off, and carries on carrying on. She would echo the words of many other resilient women I count among my closest friends -- "what choice do I have?" -- but the way in which she resists and persists is, quite frankly, inspiring. Without further ado, here she is: 


My husband Ken is a brilliant writer. When he suggested I guest-write a blog, I was a little intimidated. I can’t do as well as he does it.

He thought I would be able to comment on the topic of resilience. I guess you can say I am pretty okay at rolling with the punches. I’m not sure I can offer any advice. But maybe I’m gettin…

Transparency, Normality, Legality

Administrivia: You may have noticed the blog redesign, which is ongoing. Simply put, it was time for a change. I've fiddled with backgrounds and such in the past, but never gone beyond that. I'm still working out the kinks--trying to get an archive up that is (a) visible and (b) works--and I'm interested in feedback. Improvement? Put it back? Please comment.


Mark listens from upstairs. He can't make out much if any of the chatter he hears, but he can hear the laughter, frequent and  unrestrained, as Eva and I engage in our morning banter. It makes him smile. All is right with the world.

We're all sitting down to Eva's fantastic meatloaf. More banter around the table, and a sense of cozy togetherness, of simple domesticity, reigns: the polycule is all together, and all is right with the world.

Challenges come and are overcome through sharing and the axiom that four heads are better than one. Emotional support is sought and received and all …

Going Moldy....

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