Thursday, May 13, 2004

Withering weather, wandering, wondering

It's hotter than the hinges of hell out there today: base temperature 27 last I looked, with a humidex value of 34, giving SKIN MELTING conditions, especially for the middle of May. If it's like this now, what is it going to be like in August? Best not to think about that, maybe. Best to just sit here, as nearly nude as the possibility of sudden company will allow, and drip. And drip. And drip and drip and drip.
No thyroid problem here, thank you very much.
It drives me effing nuts. The weather, yes, but moreso the people out cheering about it. How can they stand it? It's like a damn sauna out there, and it feels worse in here. I bet all the people who claim to enjoy this oven roast have air conditioning. They don't remember how it feels to have sheets glued to you every night. Flame-broiled freaks.
I've noticed a couple of ominous changes on the Weather Network's programming, too. They've very quietly altered the UV scale. It used to read like this: 1-3 low, 4-6 moderate, 7-8 high, 9+ extreme. Now, to get an extreme reading you need 11. "Yeah, turn the sun up to eleven, we'll have nice tenderized flesh in no time!"
They no longer print the actual air pollution index, either. I find that telling. Today was the first smog warning of the year. We all love to chew our air, so thank ya, Dubya, for your industrial spewage.
I wonder if there are any jobs in Iqaluit.
One other thing. If I hear "it's not the heat, it's the humidity!" one more time this summer, I will snap. When's the last time humidity bothered you at ten degrees Centigrade? It's the heat, damnit, don't tell me otherwise. I'm Canadian. Give me winter. Lots of it.

We're on holidays this week--the intention was to take them before it got too hot. See, I work as a dairy/frozen department manager in a grocery store, and to be honest, weather like this just makes me miss work. Well, okay, not really, but I could certainly be coaxed into my dairy cooler, if I didn't actually have to DO anything in there.
We spent the first couple of days at my dad's place on the Magnetawan
River. "Rose Point", he's christened it. I'd call it "Sanctuary Much". The mere act of sitting on his dock after dark leaches poisonous stress out of me: two days up there leaves me pleasantly limp.
Aside from that, we've been touring shopping malls...how weird is that, we both enjoy mall walking. You don't lose much weight at that, unless you count your billfold.
Yesterday was my first time ever in Square One in Mississauga. Overall, I was pretty impressed with the place. There are a number of stores in there you won't easily find elsewhere, including an absolutely enchanting "Build-a-Bear" store where you get to do just that. We selected a little beagle, stuck a dog sound in it (we could have put a cat noise in there, and wouldn't THAT have confused the hell out of our cats?) We stuffed it and fluffed it and printed up a little birth certificate, naming it"Lucky". It's nice to discover every now and again that I haven't lost the ability to be "cuted" out of my skull.
Square One wasn't perfect--no decent store for full-figured women, the Kernels didn't even sell what we've been told is the most popular flavour chainwide, the food court was quite pedestrian for a place with 360 stores in it.
Now we're home, the place is clean, and there's nothing to do except relax.
And sweat.

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