Coasting

Today, we stopped by Sportsworld at the south end of town. I hadn't been there in a decade or more. There was supposed to be some mini-golf played, but the arcade kind of waylaid us.
Arcades have sure changed since my freshman 'let's go waste a roll of quarters' days. The pinball games are all a buck a play now. That's a bit rich for wizard nostalgia, so I didn't indulge.
The console games, though! They're all VR, all the time. You feel like you're watching TV.
The first thing to catch the eye in that arcade--and oddly enough, it caught Eva's eye, not mine--was something called 'Coaster Express'..."featuring the coasters of Cedar Point". Ka-SPROING! I'm excited. Cedar Point has my vote for heaven on earth.
Although I had conquered kiddie coasters (and the Wild Mouse at the Canadian National Exhibition) long before, my first experience with genuine rollercoasting came in 1981, the year Canada's Wonderland opened. My dad, who in those days I associated with absolutely anything exotic or exciting in my life, took me and I still remember that day lo these many years later. The Mighty Canadian Minebuster was my instant favorite there. I can quote you stats on height and speed, and they wouldn't do the thing justice...especially if you're nine years old.
Next up: Space Mountain at Disney World in Florida, 1984. Again with my dad. The actual specs on this one aren't too daunting, or rather wouldn't be if the ride wasn't done in TOTAL DARKNESS. I remember two things about this coaster, which we rode twice: one, Dad getting zinged with a penny that fell or was dropped from somewhere overhead; two, the second time through, me thinking I had the course memorized well enough that I could scratch the itch on my nose before the big sudden dropoff...and being proved totally wrong. Whee!
I gravitated back to Paramount Canada's Wonderland again and again over the years, like a junkie returning to his stash. On one occasion, yet again with my father (are you beginning to notice a pattern here?) I was confronted with a big orange monstrosity dubbed The Bat. This "boomerang" coaster brings you through its loopy, twisting course forwards and then backwards. It was the first coaster of its kind in Canada, and staring up at it I at first wanted no part of it. Of course, there was no shirking coaster duty with Dad there, and The Bat quickly joined its cousin Minebuster atop my list of thrillers.
Wonderland just continued thrilling me year after year...until 1992, when I first attended Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. After about 30 minutes at the Point, the realization dawns on you that no matter where your home park is or how enchanted you've been by it, it really is just a kiddie park, with kiddie rides.
Cedar Point is where you grow up. Fast.
That trip in '92 was with an ex-girlfriend. It was our swan song; I suspected as much even before we left home. She told me she'd never been on a coaster in her life. So naturally the first one I took her on was the world-record holder, something called the Magnum XL-200. It's 205 feet tall, it has a top speed of 72 mph, and it turned my girlfriend's face an alarming shade of green. In the picture they snap of you halfway through the course, I saw the first genuine smile ever photographically captured on my face.
I don't scream on coasters. I've always thought it kind of silly. I just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. And what a ride on this Magnum. The second drop looks and feels like it's going to dump you into Lake Erie. The sheer speed is incredible.
Eleven years later, last year, my dad brought me back to Cedar Point. It was his first time there and I feel pretty confident in saying it won't be his last.
Cedar Point will not allow itself to have anything but the tallest and fastest coasters on the planet. Every time somebody exceeds their benchmark, they just turn around and create a new benchmark. Since 1992, they had put in five new coasters. Three of them are taller than the Magnum. And two of those positively dwarf it.
Our first ride of the trip was on Top Thrill Dragster. You can see this thing for miles around and I have to admit to a slight case of watery bowels as we waited for liftoff. Liftoff is the perfect word, too: 120 MILES AN HOUR from a standing stop in less than four seconds. Once you've hit top speed, you go up. STRAIGHT up, a perfect 90 degree angle up, twisting 90 degrees to the left as you ascend to an eye-popping height of 420 feet. Then it's down, STRAIGHT down, twisting 270 degrees and hitting 120 miles an hour again. Then the ride's over. The most intense 23 seconds of my life so far.
I only wish I could have been up there a bit longer to admire the view.
The other 'giga-coaster' they've installed is called Millennium Force. It's 310 feet tall and goes 80 mph. It lasts a good deal longer than the Dragster and it impressed me with its smoothness. No headbanging on this one.
I can only dream about what's next. Five hundred feet? Mach 1? Bring it on!
In the meantime, here we are today with this Coaster Express. It's a coaster simulator featuring six of the older Cedar Point coasters. I picked the two longest-tracked of those on offer, wanting to get the most out of my $4. I can assure you that the graphics are first-rate, absolutely true to my vivid memory of the Magnum XL-200 and the wooden monster Mean Streak. The sensation wasn't bad, either...a coaster junkie like myself will take what he can get. Until I can get back to the Point, anyway...