And I'm about to burp some hot acidic bile out on to your screen.
1) The Governor-General should just govern herself right the hell out of town. So say I. All in favour, raise thy right foot and give her a boot to her pampered ass.
Why do we even have a Governor-General in Canada, anyway? I know, I know, she's supposedly the Queen's representative. But if that's true, why is she appointed by the Prime Minister and not the Queen?
And just what is it she does, anyway? From here, it looks like her only duty is to find new ways to waste money.. Today's news reveals she's taken the Challenger jet to New York ten times in the past two years. The cost, for transportation alone, exceeds $50,000. What did she do while she was there? Her office won't tell us, except to say that one of the trips was for 'a cultural event' and another was to meet with consul Pamela Wallin. That leaves eight trips unaccounted for, and no way to uncover details. The office of the Governor-General rests comfortably above government scrutiny.
I am a Platonic person. That is to say, for me, form is unimportant; function all-important. I will wear a toque or even a balaclava on cold winter days. I may look ugly in it, but at least I'll be ugly and warm.
I long ago gave up on seeing this philosophy reflected in my government. But it still disgusts me to see people like Adrienne Clarkson living a life that seems to consist of all pomp and no substance...and funded entirely by Joe and Jill Taxpayer.
2) We have a wee little problem here in Kitchener. It seems that a sizeable portion of the city, including the downtown core, has unacceptably high levels of some chemical or other. (I heard this on the radio this morning when I was asleep with my eyes open. I've just attempted to research the name of this chemical, but our pitiful excuse for a paper is unavailable online to anyone who is not a subscriber. Yeah, 'cause that makes sense...I've got this here paper and I need to check the online edition to...umm...make sure the stories are the same. Yeah, that's it.)
I digress. Fuck, I'm cranky lately. Must be early andropause. Or male PMS or something.
Anyway, it turns out that this chemical is probably leaching into the groundwater supply from the abandoned landfill that they dug the wells in the middle of. *PUNCH* *PUNCH* *PUNCH* HELLO? McFLY? Who decided to put WELLS underneath an old LANDFILL and did they breed?
3) Toronto City Councillor Doug Holyday, one of the few sensible people in that loony leftward-leaning bunch, is suggesting that they should register or perhaps (gasp!) fingerprint their homeless, so as to get an accurate count of just how many people Toronto has sleeping on their streets and using Nathan Phillips Square--right outside CITY HALL!!!--as a big flat public toilet. Estimates put the amount of money spent on the homeless in Toronto at $32,000 per homeless person per year, but no one really knows for sure because counting them is against their fundamental human rights or something. Howls of outrage greeted Holyday's proposal. Counting homeless people and trying to make them not homeless anymore is punishing them. Get it? Get it? I don't.
This country is so fucking sdrawkcab-ssa that it actually frightens me. Criminals have more rights than their victims; your government, who knows you only by a nine-digit number, is considered the preeminent authority on what you can watch and how to spend your money; a foreign-trained engineer will find it almost impossible to get a well-paying job in her field here, even if she's from Japan, a country generally understood to have pretty competent engineers; and, at least in Toronto, homeless people are encouraged to remain that way because it's humane to allow them to die on the street.
I feel better. Those digital Tums consume forty-seven times their wordage in excess anger.
See you tomorrow, no doubt for round two.
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