Welcome to today's Breadbin.

The special for this evening is whole roasted aardvark. Unfortunately, we ran out of forks an hour ago, so patrons will have to eat with their fingers.

A little potpourri for the day, beginning with some questions...

• WHY is the cursor on the Blog entry screen usually about three spaces to the right of where it should be?
• WHY do my pants still try to slither down my legs no matter how tightly I cinch my belt? Am I the only human being shaped this way?
• WHY are so many people not content to live in harmony with whatever their vision of God may be, but instead want to jam their God down my throat so I choke?
• After all these years and Public Service Announcements, WHY does anyone start smoking?
• Then again, if smoking is so addictive, how is it that many people only smoke in bars?
• If stock prices always go up when companies merge, and also go up whenever layoffs are announced, shouldn't one company make everything and employ nobody but machines?
• Apparantly, 26% of Canadians own more than one cellphone. Why is that?

The National Post truly is a joy to read. Every day there are articles scattered hither and yon that are worth reading, and often the Post reports on stories, many of a scientific nature, that other papers don't touch. I rarely read much of the financial sections, having no finances to worry about, but the front section is a news gourmand's dream.

The paper isn't perfect. My biggest gripe about it is that I often feel like I'm too poor to read it. For instance, their road tests rarely involve anything so bohemian as a Ford or a Honda. Instead they like to road-test Maseratis and Rolls-Royces, ostensibly in hopes that one of the six Canadians destined to buy one this year will want to read up on it first. Likewise, their Homes section really ought to be retitied Mansions or Estates or some such.

Anyway, their TV critic was lamenting what he dubbed "Christmas Creep" the other day, and he hit on one of my biggest peeves. "Christmas Creep" refers to the way December 25th now starts in mid-October and extends until late January.

In my world, it would be illegal to put up Christmas decorations, air Christmas commericals, or play carols any time before the first of December. One month of frenzy is more than enough, thank you. And all decorations would come down the day ofter New Year's. Boxing Day sales would be limited to what they were at first intended to be: clearances of overstocked product.

My Christmas cookies came in three weeks before Hallowe'en. I refused to put them out until last week and even that, I felt, was pushing it. Predictably, I have not sold very many units yet. Our store Christmas tree was erected a week ago. Any time now, I expect to hear the first carol of the season on the radio (please God, not Little Drummer Boy, okay?)

I'm keeping up a determed Bah Humbuggy face from now until 'tis really the season.

And that's about all I feel like writing. Gotta go chow down on some Kraft Dinner. It may be nuclear-reactor orange cheese glop, but I love it.