And a right! And a left!

A few quick jabs tonight. That's all I have left in me; it's been one of the hardest weeks in my nearly five-year tenure at Price Chopper. Not because of any great burst of customer volume (although it is busy) but because we have been shorthanded every day for four days and counting. To use a hockey analogy (HOCKEY'S BACK!!! YAY!!!) , I feel like I've been killing two-man-disadvantage penalties all week long.

• Florida just removed itself from my vacation radar with its ridiculous amendment that allows people to shoot you...to kill...if they "feel threatened". I wasn't even aware just how crazy the gun laws are down there: everybody has the right to carry concealed and if you buy your gun at a show, you can go directly to murdering hostile-looking turban-wearers without passing any of those pesky criminal record checks or psychological profiles. In the land of Mickey Mouse, that's just plain goofy.
• Quick: name the product advertised in the last TV spot you saw which clearly showed at least one law being broken. Was it a car? Thought so. Why is it that even econoboxes must be shown breaking the sound barrier?
• Smog advisories in October. Why not? We had one in February. If Bush gets his way, we'll eventually see them every day. But hey, the economy will be just a-humming. Want a nice cushy job? Just wait for the guy who has it now to drop dead of brownlung. And psst...wear your nose-filter 24/7.
• After 17 seasons, The Simpsons has finally relinquished the Funniest Show On Television award to The Family Guy. Yes, I know, Guy's been on for a couple of years now, but Homer's clan is getting hit and miss, while Peter's just keeps getting better. It's like The Simpsons on acid, and is especially suited to people with next to no attention spans-- they pack so freakin' many jokes into every minute and oddly enough, at least half of them spike my chucklemeter. Several times I've found myself crying from laughter.
• Have you ever wondered why it is we force children to learn four alphabets? That came to mind (not for the first time) the other day as I was doing a handwriting analysis on www.tickle.com. Yup, count 'em, four: upper and lowercase printing and upper and lower case cursive. What, exactly, is the point of cursive writing? This was never explained to me as I struggled with it in grades III and IV, and nobody's bothered to explain it since.
• I HATE 'POWER CENTERS.' These monstrosities are like shopping malls without the hallway: every store is its own building, separated from every other building just enough to make walking a chore, and surrounded by hectares of parking. Knock 'em all down.

Growl.