Monday, November 14, 2005

Vote Liberal or Santa gets it!

"It will be up to them [the Opposition Leaders] to explain why they are forcing an election at a time Canadians least want one."
--Prime Minister Paul Martin

Well, let's see now, Paulie. Because your government is corrupt? Because you are a ditherer who can see only as far as the next poll? Because you've got Gomery in your back pocket, and we can't trust you to dissolve your own government when you said you would...just because you said you would? Because, in typical Liberal fashion, you're poised to bankrupt the treasury in a vain (we hope in vain) attempt to cling to power, like a leech?

That's just off the top of my head, you understand.

Fellow citizens and voters, please bear in mind that you will not have to interrupt Christmas dinner to exercise your franchise: the earliest election day could come would be early January. The Liberals will call it a Christmas election every chance they get, of course. If you're Orthodox and celebrate Christmas on January 6th, well, then you might have a wee problem. But wait! That's a Friday. Elections don't happen on Fridays. So in no way can you call this a Christmas election.
And besides, the election will most likely show up in the third week of January! The Boxing Day sales will still be going, of course, but Christmas will be so over...

Martin will try anyway. He's already started. Santa Paul and his elf, Ralph, are promising to give you back $29 billion dollars over the next, um, five years...only if they win the election, you understand. Wow, that's a lot of money. Amazing to imagine you've been overtaxed that much, isn't it?

But wait a second! If you're middle class, you won't see any of that money until 2010...assuming, of course, you vote the Liberals back in and keep them in for another five years. (And we all know what happens when you ass u me.)

You know, if Stephen Harper manages to win this looming election, I'm willing to bet you that one of his first acts as Prime Minister will be to thoroughly audit the federal books, using independent auditors and standard business audit principles and procedures. And I'll further bet you that a large percentage of the money Martin's so gliberally throwing around right now doesn't actually exist.

I've been waiting for people to get on board the oust-the-Liberals train since the day Jean Chretien took office. Now that some people are willing to be seen on Ontario televisions denouncing Paul Martin and vowing to throw him out at the earliest opportunity (I saw four of them tonight), well, the best late Christmas present I can get as a Canadian citizen and taxpayer is a change in government.

Bring it on!


Anonymous said...

I've often wondered if the Liberals are going to give us all that money back, and assuming there is that money to begin with. Why can't the other parties say the same thing. After all its our money. Or are they afraid to make that committment

Ken Breadner said...

I think they're afraid to make that commitment. I'd like to see a politician say something like this: 'instead of bribing you with your own money, we'll just take less of it in the first place.'
Then again, I'd also like to see a politician say this: 'I can't promise you that.' My respect for that politician would go sky-high.

jeopardygirl said...

I think maybe what they've been referring to are the man-hours required of them over the Christmas holidays to convince Canadians to come out and vote in January. As usual, they're thinking only of themselves. Makes no nevermind to me if they're cris-crossing the country in December.

Although, I have to say, no time of year is a good time to get those begging messages on the answering machine, or those well-meaning, but inevitably unsatisfying conversations with the local guy and his campaign staff.

On the plus side, Pat O'Brien has decided NOT to run for re-election, and will step down as soon as the term is up. Oh, I'm crying in my beer, let me tell you.

Ken Breadner said...

Pat O'Brien...wasn't he the one who thought gay marriage was a plot by homosexuals to overthrow the Canadian family, or something? Yeah. Good riddance.
I think the thing that really bothers me the most about this whole election thing is that Paul Martin first said he didn't want a summer election. Now he doesn't want a winter election. And we're supposed to believe he will actually decide on a spring election? Yeah, right, tell me another one, Mr. "I knew nothing!" Prime Minister.
Seriously, at this point I'd accept Jack Layton for a term, if only to scrub Ottawa clean of Liberal corruption.

Peter Dodson said...

They are all the same Ken, or at least near carbon copies. Politics has fallen to an ugly level in this country - everyone thinks they are right and everyone else wrong. That's why so little gets done. I'm seriously thinking about spoiling my ballot.

Ken Breadner said...

Don't. Please.
I can understand the inclination--really, I can--but with all due respect, spoiling your ballot is meaningless.
Spoiled ballots aren't counted, so your frustration is never known. You might as well not vote at all--and if you do that, you have no right to complain about anything the government does or doesn't do.
Far better to find a party whose views you can at least tolerate. I don't know you personally, but from your blog, I'd suggest checking out the Green Party. It's a thought, anyway.

Peter Dodson said...

Don't worry, I would never really spoil my ballot - it would be nice however, to be able to do it, have it be counted and then be published as a sign of protest. Politics is just plain ugly in this country, but I'll most likely vote Green again.

jeopardygirl said...

Once again, I'm voting for Cthulhu. Why choose the lesser evil?