My reviews of THE DA VINCI CODE and X-MEN: THE LAST STAND tomorrow.
Today, pet peeves.
The first two I have mentioned before, but as all hell is about to be loosed once again upon my little portion of earth, I feel compelled to vent on the topics of
HEAT
and
PEOPLE WHO LIKE HEAT.
1) HEAT
Tomorrow's high temperature is to be 33 degrees Celsius, with a humidex of 40. For those of you stuck in the early 1970s, that humidex translates to 104 on the Fahrenheit scale. This is not a healthy temperature, and I can prove it: let's say you have a fever of 104. Do you (a) go out and sunbathe on the beach; (b) crack open a beer on the back porch or (c) GET YOUR ASS TO A DOCTOR? The answer's rather obvious, isn't it?
Yeah, I know, by that brand of logic we'd all succumb to hypothermia at substantially above room temperature. Nit-picker.
Besides, whenever the ambient temperature is anything higher than, say, 23 degrees, both my wife and I get to wondering if a hospital isn't a nice sane place to be, especially if the air conditioning is on. Ten seconds after stepping outside, the first wave of nausea hits. Headaches, dizziness, and overwhelming fatigue often follow. If Eva forgets her sunscreen, she develops a burn almost instantly--although sometimes, I admit, it's hard to distinguish where the sunburn ends and the heat rash begins.
Here in Southern Ontario, the long weekend just passed had what was almost universally declared to be crappy weather. Snowflakes were observed here in Waterloo Region. Needless to say, the Breadner household was in heaven.
I have reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. As slushy spring hardens into sultry summer, I become depressed, lethargic, and irritable.
I shouldn't bitch overmuch this year. I spend my workdays in refrigerated comfort, and can always step into my walk-in freezer for a quick nip of January. Moreover, and much more importantly, our Danby Silhouette floor model air conditioner is rarin' to go up in our bedroom, meaning I might actually get some sleep this summer.
No, right now I think what's pissing me off is
2) PEOPLE WHO LIKE HEAT.
'Tis the season, to be sure. People fervently look forward to this fricassee, and they can't help but spread the Gospel of the Hard-Baked to all and sundry. SUMMER! It's SUMMER!
MERRY SUMMER, ONE AND ALL!
Bah, humbug.
Tell you something, friends and neighbours: nine out of ten people who claim to like the heat of summer live in air conditioned comfort. The tenth is an actual freak; the other nine merely pretend to be freaks, for a reason that escapes me. You LIKE sweating? You LIKE smog, and that great out-of-breath feeling you get just from standing in it? How about that nice sucking noise you get when you try to peel yourself off leather? You like that?
I rest my case. I'm too goddamned hot to press it further.
Pet peeve number 3: DIRECT MARKETING
The other day we opened our mailbox and found a cheque made out to my wife in the amount of $50.00. It was an actual cheque, not one of those fake ten-million dollar jobbies that come every few days from Publisher's Clearing House. This kind gesture came courtesy of an energy retailer, together with some useful information. Energy prices are going up, up, up! it said, and offered us a solution: simply cash the cheque. Of course, cashing the cheque would constitute a binding contract between us and "Universal Power", who would commence to charge us $9.59 a kilowatt-hour for the next five years. (Current rates are 5.0 cents per kw/h for the first 750 kw/h and 5.8 cents per kw/h thereafter. and yes, they are slated to go up...but not to nearly double. I'll bet my air conditioner on it.
How many poor people see a cheque for $50.00 made out to them and think they've hit the jackpot? To me, this is dirty pool...and it should be illegal.
Scarcely a day goes by without a telemarketer calling. 32 of the last 43 calls to this house have come from telemarketers. On Friday, two of them actually called at the same time. Thank God for call display.
But they're getting sneaky. We used to own a store card, financed by a non-bank lending institution, and this institution must be desperate for business, as they've called here several times of late. Last week they actually called Eva at work, where she couldn't very well tell them to fuck off over the phone. Eva listened to their spiel and turned them down cold. About three days later we got mail from them, detailing all our past debts and how much money we could save if we consolidated.
Did you get that? They actually accessed our credit history without permission, explicit or implied, and tried to solicit business.
A couple of days later, they called and left a message: hope you got my mail, look forward to discussing this with you.
In hell, maybe, the bastards.
3 comments:
Fuck, you are sooo right about the heat! Call me a wimp, but as soon as the weather turns the least bit humid and close to the 30's, I have a fan blowing on me in every room in the house, and when I really can NOT take it anymore, I turn on the A/C (I know, I know, so not politically correct, but so is murdering people in rage just because of the heat, so shut up!!! LOL). I sweat really bad and that's sooo not attractive, so bring on the ac.. LOL
As for telemarketers, I don't even give them the time of day, if I hear even an inkling that it's a call center, CLICK, I hang it up. I know it's rude but I REFUSE to give them a minute of my time.
*smile* I feel exactly the same way about a/c: evil, but damned necessary.
I've done market research from the other side of the phone. It's brutal, especially since we were *never* selling anything. Because of that experience, on the very rare times I get caught by a telemarketer--usually I don't pick up the phone--I'm polite. I know they're just trying to do a job. But I think their job should be outlawed.
Polls, on the other hand, I'm a sucker for. Yep, I'm an odd duck.
*smile*
I know, it must be the most AWFUL job, calling people to sell or "offer" or whatever... I used to be more polite, but in that case, they think you're interested and then it's really hard to get rid of them politely. They just don't hear you say NO, just continue on (I know, it's not them, it's the script and their supervisor listening and criticizing every conversation. At least if I hang up before the second word, they can't say it's their fault - I didn't even give them a chance, I'm a bitch, maybe they'll take me OFF their list. LOL.) When I was looking for a job this time around, and went to a few agencies, I told them right off the bat, do NOT offer me call center jobs, I will NOT take them. They understood. It takes a certain person to work under that kind of pressure...
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