W(h)ither the world, 2007?

I still don't do New Year's resolutions.
For the same reasons I gave last year: nothing in my life needs to be solved (let alone "re-solved"); and if it did, I could just as easily change course sometime next week or next month.
I also don't like to look ahead too far. One day at a time, that's my motto. Trying to discern the details of a 365-day journey from the vantage point of December 31 is just silly when neither your eyesight nor your foresight are up to scratch, and your insight is occasionally spotty to boot.
Nevertheless, because I've never been ashamed of making a fool out of myself, here are various and sundry predictions for the year 2007.
(1) ELECTION FEVER WILL DESCEND UPON US AGAIN. REPEATEDLY.
First will come a federal election, probably launched in February over Afghanistan and the environment. The Green Party will--very grudgingly--be allowed a little more media coverage, though it probably won't be featured in the debates. Nevertheless, it will win at least one seat in a parliament with a very slim Liberal minority.
Then we'll see a Quebec provincial election and the end of Jean Charest.
And finally an election in Ontario, which until just recently I would have said would be a cakewalk for Tory's Tories. Now that Tory's shot himself in the foot by supporting McFibber's motion of an immediate 25% raise for MPPs (!?!?!?!), I'm no longer so sure we won't see another four years of Premier Norman Bates.

(2) BOTH AMERICA AND BRITAIN WILL FACE ANOTHER TERRORIST ATTACK. It won't be on the scale of a 9/11. The jihadists got shit-lucky with that one, and at least some of us are awake, now. But I've been mentally predicting small-scale attacks ever since 9/11, things like suicide bombings at Starbucks outlets (at least one bleeding patron will express his sense of 'hurt and betrayal' at the actions of 'freedom fighters'.) These small-scale attacks would cripple the American economy far worse than one or two gaudy explosions, and surely the terrorists realize that?

(3) CLIMATE CHANGE WILL KEEP ACCELERATING.
Related: the bickering match over whether or not it's actually happening, whether or not any given event can be linked to it, whether or not we have anything to do with it, whether or not there's anything we can do to stop it, all of that will get louder and louder and louder. Which is really sad, because the answers are staring us right in the face: yes, it's happening; yes, many events can be linked to it, although Britney's lack of panties probably isn't one of them; well, put it this way, we certainly aren't helping the situation; there may be something we can do to stop it and they may not be at this point, but, um...
DON'T YOU THINK WE'D BETTER AT LEAST TRY? We're kind of adaptable, this species called human. Maybe we'd better start adapting.

(4) GOOGLE WILL BUY SOMETHING ELSE. eBay? Amazon? The Vatican? Who knows? But the possibilities are endless. A footwear chain (Shoogle). Anheuser-Busch (renamed Broogle). A brass band, complete with flooglehorns. The novel I'm writing in dribs and, occasionally, drabs sees Google owning everything. That won't happen...this year.
(Aside: I still haven't figured out how they make money, let alone the shitloads they're making. Do THAT many people actually click on ads I've seen so many times I don't even see them anymore?)

(5) THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS, everywhere you looked in 2006, will still be everywhere you look in 2007, only more so. The schizoid nature of the United Hedonistic States of Jesus, long evident to the rest of the world, will remain largely invisible inside that once-great country. Look for an expansion on this topic from me early in the New Year.

(6) THE WORLDWIDE ECONOMY'S IN FOR A WILD RIDE.
The stock market run of 2006 can not be sustained much longer. Nor can the red-hot housing market, the comparatively low price of oil, or the consumer confidence index. Sorry to be a gloomy Gus, but I really do believe the good times aren't here to last.

(7) NO PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST THIS YEAR. This might be the easiest prediction of all.


Those are my thoughts on a global level. Tomorrow: what might be ahead around here in 2007.

And as for you, faithful readers:

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips. May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face over and over again. May laughter punch your gut and may your tears be those of joy. May the problems you thought you had forget your home address! In simple words....may 2007 be the best year of your life!