"I just don't understand it"

I didn't have much respect for Hillary Clinton before today. Now, she's not only destroyed what eensy-teensy bit of respect I had left, she's also blown any chance she'll ever have at winning any of it back. At this point she could bring somebody back from the dead and I'd figure it was just to get that one...more...vote.



Here's today's heaping helping of Hillary:

"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it."

I guess the first question, dear, is what don't you understand? Why people keep saying you should bow out? That'd be because you're saying stuff like this. Or is it that you don't understand why so many people in America are voting for--let's face it--a black man? Aside from the many qualities that particular black man has, the problem would be that you're a phony and people see right through you. Ruthless, though. Gotta give you marks for ruthless.

Everybody seems to be defending her. "Unthinking...unfortunate...she didn't mean it...it's partly due to weariness...she profoundly regrets it..."



Oh, give it up, already. Hillary, you knew damned well what you were saying. This isn't the first time you've brought up Bobby Kennedy. If you wanted to say you were staying in the race until its conclusion, you could have mentioned Gary Hart, Ronald Reagan, or--if you had to cite a Kennedy, Ted. All three of those people campaigned until their respective conventions, and nary a one was assassinated.
And that "apology"...was a bunch of gibberish. She almost sounded as if she were apologizing to the Kennedy family. Not a word to Barack and Michelle Obama for what I certainly took to be a veiled death threat.

Mrs. Clinton, as everyone knows, was supposed to cakewalk into the White House. As that cakewalk turned first into a hard slog and then into a brick wall, she's been getting increasingly desperate. First there were the tears on command, which temporarily bamboozled a bunch of people into thinking she was a human being. As the effect wore off, she's tried to be all things to all people. She's done the Sowthern draaawl, she's gone a-huntin' with her daddy...she's even been under sniper fire in Bosnia (that's Bosnia, Imaginationland).



That's where the fatal miscalculation happened. She was going after the wrong demographic--the redneck white trash. The ones who weren't committed to McCain were going to vote for Clinton anyway. I mean, just lookie here:

Well, lawks-a-mercy, who's a-gonna argue with that? The man's middle name is Hussein. And my wife done tole me he ain't even a Christian.

So Clinton's had the redneck Democrat vote all sewn up for months, but still she's finding herself losing. It was a given that Barack Obama would attract a majority of the, ahem, "colored" vote...but to Hillary's astonishment an unacceptably large number of whites were voting for him, too.

It'd be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. She's worked so hard to bring out the racist in everyone. Oh, she's been subtle about it--even Hillary knows she can't grab a microphone and say "Fellow Americans, have you not noticed the man's a nigger?!" So she's just let it slip, in dribs and drabs, that well, hey, you know you don't have any problem voting for the black man...God knows you aren't racist. But your neighbors, you know, quite a few of them aren't so enlightened. And so it doesn't really matter if you vote for Obama, because he doesn't have a snowball's chance.

Snowballs, you see, are white.

But even that's not working. Nothing's working. Man, it must be hard times when you can't even count on your fellow Americans to be sufficiently racist. But you just know that racism's out there, and if you can only tap into it you'll get your votes, your nomination, and your presidency.

Damn it, there's gotta be ONE person out there terrified that a black Muslim related to that Saddam fella might get to be President of the United States. Scared enough to take steps to make sure that doesn't happen. I'll keep mentioning assassinations every now and again, because you just never know what could happen between now and the convention.

And if God forbid something does happen--just as soon as I've assured plausible deniability--I'll stand there, teary-eyed, and praise Barack Obama as a courageous man who had America in his heart. And I'll say I just don't understand it.