Tomorrow, it starts

Our current abode was built in 1969. The bathroom's original.

That should be all the explanation required for the upcoming "week the washroom went." But I'll give you a little more anyway, superfluous words being something of a trademark of mine.

By "original", I mean "puke-green", as in "hey! A toilet, sink and bathtub that's puke-green! That's original!"

And "1969" coupled with "puke-green fixtures" immediately suggests a piss-yellow floor, right? I mean, what other colour could possibly go?

We chose, sadly, not to continue the body functional theme with a shit-brown shower curtain and accessories, but trust me, the room looks perfectly terrible without them. And the mould that's undoubtedly gained a toehold thanks to my continued insistence on boiling hot showers just adds a certain je ne sais yuck to the whole affair.

Oh, and my unique talent of breaking things caps the whole thing off. Not three months after we moved into this place, I sat down on the toilet one night and shattered the tank lid. Okay, sat down is perhaps a bit of an understatement: I have a habit of, well, throwing myself on to the toilet on occasion, especially when it's a-gonna be a photo finish, if you catch my whiff. So you shouldn't infer from one shattered tank lid that I weigh a tonne and a half. I ain't heavy, I just act that way.

Replacement tank lids for 1969 toilets...not available. We've had to, ahem, craft one, just for the extra tacky points.

So: the bathroom's being redone. Not just superficially, either. The room's being gutted down to whatever lurks behind the drywall and rebuilt: stronger, sleeker, and a helluva lot nicer. (Before and After pics are coming when the after pics come, okay?)

I find myself wishing I could just snap my fingers and make it Saturday. Because after tomorrow, I'm going to have to do without a few things I kind of take for granted, namely a toilet that isn't two flights of stairs away from the bedroom and...a morning shower. I'm dreading the lack of a morning shower. I'm hoping the weather either continues substantially cooler than normal (the better not to sweat, my dear)...or gets blisteringly hot (so that a garden hose feels refreshing instead of f-f-f-freezing.

There are a few other jobs being done around here as well: our master bedroom closet will almost double in size, the carpet's coming out of the living room at long last, and several other, more cosmetic changes await. Our house won't be ours for a week, but it will feel more like ours afterwards...