TIFFed

Random compendium of things I'm snarked about these days.

1) TIFF--the Toronto International Film Festival. I would like to go on record as saying, in Dolby Surround, 'WHO...GIVES...A...FLYING...BLEEP.'

Well, judging from the coverage, the answer to that is everybody. You can't The newscasts are full of how-to tips on becoming a stalker; you can't turn on a radio or open a newspaper without some doofus informing you that here's the best place to spot a celeb and there's where they eat and oh boy oh boyohboyohboy all these Hollywood types are RIGHT HERE IN TORONTO!!!!!!

Wake me when the credits roll, okay?

2) Electile dysfunction.

As America tears itself apart over health care (which, to this Canadian, is beyond silly), our own country is facing down the threat of its fourth election in five years. I reserve an equal share of snark for both PM Harper and Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff, who's doing all the threatening. But mostly I'd like to announce to the general Canadian public that saying we don't want an election! means you're happy with Stephen Harper's government. If that's the case, fine. But I'm hearing an awful lot of people calling our PM an awful lot of uncomplimentary things and in the same breath saying but we don't want an election. Make up your mind, already.

3) C.R.T.C.

Can we please put this dinosaur out of its misery? It's been thirty years since it was relevant. Now it seemingly exists mainly to give Bell and Rogers anything they want and to dream up new ways of gouging Canadians. Even the name, "Canadian Radio-Television and Telecommunications Commission" is mostly an anachronism: radio's doing a slow death march and television is migrating online (or it will in Canada as soon as the CRTC allows it to). Dissolve the CRTC!

That's enough for one night. I'll tackle something with some substance on Sunday.