I feel that olympicitis coming on...

So the rumour is that Wayne Gretzky will be lighting the Olympic flame tomorrow to open Vancouver 2010.

Pardon me while I roll my eyes theatrically.

Look, I've got nothing against Wayne the hockey player...arguably the best the world has ever seen, and all that. I've also got nothing against Wayne the person. Everything I've heard over the years suggests the man oozes class.

There are two things that bother me about this selection. The first is that it's oh so predictable. Hey, let's cater to the Canadian beer-swilling hockey-nut stereotype and get a shinny player to light the flame, shall we? And the other thing that bothers me is that the guy or gal who has this honour should, ideally, be a Canadian.

Oh, did I type that out loud? You're not supposed to say this, and it might be a crime to even think it, but Wayne Gretzky--for all he's done for our national winter pastime--is Canadian in name only. He's lived outside this country for decades and even his Wikipedia entry calls him 'Canadian-American'. If it has to be someone from the hockey sphere--and I suggest it shouldn't be--why not Bobby Orr? Or Don Cherry?

I was asking around at work today as to who should light the flame, and one rather cynical man suggested it should be Joe Schmo, the Canadian taxpayer. After all, "he's the one footing the bill for this bullshit". Back away, back away--hey, Ken, haven't you got some work to do on the other side of the store? Still, that got me to thinking. It's oh-so-Canadian to trot out a line of celebrities, as if to say HEY!!! LOOK AT US!!! WE MATTER!!! DAMNIT, WE MATTER!!! I think it'd be a refreshing change for some nobody to get that honour. That thought kept growing as the day went on, and sometime around quitting time I got to imagining whole different take on the final few legs of the torch relay.

This country, if it is known for anything at all besides winter, is known and respected for taking in people and cultures from everywhere. Wouldn't it be a fine statement to have an athlete from each participating country carry the torch? You could group them by fours or sixes or something, and each group would run for a hundred metres before handing off to the next. Or a Canadian could stand at the front carrying the flame, with everyone arranged in a pyramid formation behind him.

Great idea, I think. But chances are we'll get the same old parade of Canadian celebrities, the majority of whom had to make it big Stateside before earning any recognition at home.

And that, too, is Canadian....