Memo to the United States of America

Re: midterms

You flunked.

That is all.

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No, wait, that's not all. I watched some of the victory high tea parties last night. They made me think of my cousin, who once bragged to me that he got 9/100 on a test. Yes, bragged. The gloat was unmistakable. To a brown-nosing scholarly type like me, this behaviour was inexplicable. Just as American behaviour was yesterday.

Barack Obama must shoulder a good deal of blame: I'll give you Usians that. His health care bill took a horrible situation and somehow made it worse. He's looked for consensus when he should have been governing with an iron fist, and opted for the fist when a velvet glove would have been preferable. And there's no doubt the economy sucks rocks--always a bad sign for anyone in power, no matter the country. Furthermore, Obama made the critical error of referring to voters as "irrational". That's rule number one in politics: DON'T DO THAT, EVER EVER EVER. The craziest loon you ever did see is completely rational in his own mind, thank you very much.

All that said, do you folks really think you stand to benefit from the "message" you so bluntly sent? Obama's job has just gone from impossible to "why even bother". He's still got some moderate Republicans to work with (if he can), but now he's also got what in essence is a third party, one with little experience and an outsider's antagonism to government in any form--which should make being in government an interesting proposition.

And let's just look at what Americans claim to be so peeved off about, shall we?

• Jobs. That, to me, is a legitimate concern...about as legitimate as concerns get. That said, were they expecting Obama to just give them a job? Of course not...that'd be socialism. They were probably expecting Obama to somehow create conditions that would allow for resuscitation in

The economy. Yeah, good luck with that. As I've argued here before, the boom times are over and done with; barring some kind of miracle we're unlikely to see their like again. No matter who's in power or what he/she/it does. Why do I say this? Many reasons, but this is the biggest (literally!):

• Taxes. Apparently they're too high. Trying to unravel the American Paradox here bedevils the brain. They don't want government--at all--except when they do, and when they do they insist on not paying for it. Every government service and infrastructure project is, I guess, supposed to pay for itself automagically.
• Government spending. Trust me, the Republicans would have spent--will spend--at least as much. They have to. That's how you keep the party going. The Tea-types want to cut, cut, cut spending. Great idea...until it affects Jack and Jill Frontporch. This kind of damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't dilemma is a defining characteristic of a predicament...which, as I said last month, is precisely what America finds itself in. Its biggest problem is that it only thinks it has a problem.
• Health care. Don't get me started. This one, and this one alone, is Obama's baby almost exclusively, and you can't drink this baby cute. Even so, the previous system, wherein thousands of people went bankrupt every year to pay for health care, was untenable and, in Canadian eyes, barbaric. Nevertheless, it seems to be what Americans want to go back to. Irrational? You betcha. (But don't say that out loud!)

All bets are off over the next two years. The U.S. government has been effectively paralyzed. I have a sinking feeling that this falls into the category of "be careful what you wish for...you just might get it."