Not FreshCo, but it might as well have been

The boss's wife estimated sixty people outside before open. Twenty minutes after the ribbon-cutting, all 180 carts were spoken for. Ten tills going full bore all day, usually lined at least five deep, occasionally fifteen or so.

It was BUSY. I knew it would be, of course, but there is a vast gulf between knowing and experiencing. When you have to plan each step because no matter where you walk, you're in somebody's way...it's a challenge.

When you find out your warehouse is out of stock on a lead item (Simply Orange Juice, 1.75L, $1.97)...it's a challenge.

When you listen to some of our esteemed customers bitch...it's a challenge to keep your mouth shut.

"You have to pay for carts now? I'm never coming back here again." Riddance. You don't pay for the cart, you rent it...for the measly sum of two bits. You want your precious quarter back, simply return the cart. Small inconvenience that helps us keep our carts. 'Cause, you know, each cart runs almost seven hundred bucks.

"You have no right to charge five cents for bags if you don't have boxes any more. You have to give the customer an option. IT'S THE LAW." Really? Show me that statute, I'd love to see it. Bring your own damned bag, get with the century. Virtually every store in Ontario charges five cents for a bag, now, since Toronto had the brilliant idea of writing that fee into its bylaws. Most people have adapted: they buy a few canvas bags and carry them everywhere, or they pay a five cent per bag forgetter fee.

I didn't hear one person bitch about higher prices, which is a good thing. Most of our prices went DOWN. A few did increase, and I have to admit they cheated by jacking many prices three or six months ago, only to drop them now. Still, some of the differences between Price Chopper and FreshCo pricing are...startling. A premium private label jug of orange juice dropped $2.50. I haven't seen Tenderflake pie shells on sale for our new regular price since 2008 or so.

The cashiers put a little extra lead in my step today, I must say. "Code 20", in FreshCo speak, is a price check. The announcement is supposed to go like this: "Produce department, code 20, till ten, produce, code 20, till ten." Far too often, our cashiers would say "produce, code 20" and leave it at that...or even better, "code 2o, till ten", which would send people from five departments scrambling. I'd be on my way to deal with a price check or a broken milk bag or what have you only to have three different customers ask me where the banana guacamole, the goat's anus tartare, and Bill's Extra-Spicy Testicle Meatballs were kept. I hereby apologize to any customers I didn't get to help because I was busy helping customers.

Now I'm going to bed. Hopefully I won't have nightmares again tonight...