I was going to keep quiet about this. I have monarchist friends, and a wife who follows the Royal Family closely, and it's not as if I bear any member of that family ill will at all. (We all have our eccentricities...so what if a man speaks to plants, has his toothpaste squeezed on to the brush for him, and thinks homeopathy is the bee's knees?)
But I can't keep quiet any more. It's front page news again today, little prince Nameless has been christened George Alexander Louis and isn't he just the most adorable little wee thing? He's been on the front page of the world's newspapers since he was inside his mother and he's still there now and for the love of all that's sacred, are we going to get a front-page account of his every milestone? "Future King George Says First Word". (Don't laugh, there's a thriving betting trade on what that word will be, just as there has been about his gender, his weight, and his name.)
I love what Charlie Stross, the Scottish republican sf author, has to say about this:
"Amiable couple distantly descended from red-handed mass-murdering hereditary dictator who invaded nation in 1066 succeed in repeating a process that every last one of their ancestors managed to accomplish (i.e. producing a child). News media feeding frenzy ensues ..."
What puzzles me most about the people gushing over the little kinglet is that almost to a person, these people stand for equality of opportunity. They'll tell you, as is only reasonable, that people should accede to high positions on merit alone, that stature is a product of performance, and that there are no second-class citizens. But little Georgie is in line for a throne not because of anything he, or even any of his relatives. have done. He just is, that's the way it works and don't you commoners forget it.
To be fair, his parents have made a real and concerted effort to be as common as their royalty permits. They do their own shopping, for instance. They<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2232618/On-64th-birthday-Prince-Charles-dispels-myths-him.html"> don't have 161.1 people on staff
to serve their every whim (one really does wonder what unlucky sod is considered by Prince Charles to be a tenth of a person...) They're adored largely for that common touch. But they are royals, as is their son, and don't you real commoners ever forget it.
Yes, I get that Canada is a constitutional monarchy. Yes, yes, tradition and all that. Can't we at least have our own class of royalty? We've been independent of Britain for some time now. That's if we need these people at all. So far as I can see or tell, their sole function in society is to stand on ceremony. I can do that at a fraction of the cost. Oh, wait, I can't....I don't have the right bloodline for it. If it's any consolation...none of you do either.
I wish little George all the best growing up...but can he please stay off the front page of the newspaper?