How'd I get almost to 44 without having heard of this thing?
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Cuddling. For absolute perfection, add a fire, soft classical music, and some kind of inclement weather outside that's just audible.
What is your greatest fear?
Rejection. That one hasn't changed in 30-plus years.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
The void where my discipline should be.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Hatred. Especially hatred based in ignorance (most of it is).
Which living person do you most admire?
My wife, Eva. Trite answer. It also happens to be the truth.
What is your greatest extravagance?
My life has been an ongoing process of shedding extravagances. I'm honestly not sure I have anything left worthy of the description. Love, I suppose: that I have in abundance, much more so than most people I've run across.
What is your current state of mind?
Pensive, mildly out of phase with myself and most of the rest of existence. It's making this questionnaire harder than it should be.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity. The whole notion of sexual "purity" is very strange to me; that people put such stock in it mystifies me. The strangest thing about it is that it almost always exemplifies a meek willingness to live life by somebody else's moral compass.
On what occasion do you lie?
When the truth hurts too much. Don't we all?
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Virtually everything, most of the time. Most? Its banality and nondescriptness.
Which living person do you most despise?
That''s such a strong word. I make it a point not to despise someone unless and until I know them well enough to understand their motives and intentions. And there isn't someone I know that well whom I even dislike, much less despise.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Integrity.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Softness.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Depends who you ask. I'm sure some would say "polyamory'....I fall into word-ruts on occasion and find myself using the same word or phrase more than I should. Lately it's been 'at any rate'. I overuse the em-dash -- and also the ellipsis...
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
"Who" is easy, it's Eva again. What...is love itself.
When and where were you happiest?
Disney World in 2010. Most specifically, in our suite at Old Key West Resort. Truly the happiest place on earth.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Athleticism. It's the measure of a man by many standards, and I fall so woefully short at it that I try not to think of it.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
"If I could". There's a whole suite of qualities I'm missing. Perseverance, patience, purpose. They're all related to that fear of rejection.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Finding someone who loves me at least as much as I love her.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I really have no idea how to answer this question. Whatever the next turn of the wheel brings...I'll have a much better idea of that when THIS turn has finished.
Where would you most like to live?
The place is unimportant, except water should be visible from its windows. A self-contained, off-grid home, surrounded by the people I love and the people they love.
What is your most treasured possession?
A photo of myself in the arms of Bobby Orr, taken in August of 1972 in Parry Sound, Ontario.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Dying alone and unloved.
What is your favourite occupation?
Only an occupation in the sense that it occupies my time: writing. I'd much prefer to break the shackles of employment slavery altogether and simply string words together for my meals. That, alas, given my makeup (see above) is much easier said than done.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I'm told it's kindness.
What do you most value in your friends?
Their presence.
Who are your favourite writers?
Stephen King, for his sense of character. Guy Gavriel Kay, for his prose and intrigue. Gary Jennings, for his fusion of bawdiness and erudition. And Spider Robinson, for his warmth and humour.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Mama Maureen, from Heinlein's TO SAIL BEYOND THE SUNSET. She is an iconoclast, a person who develops her own code radically at odds with that of her time, and she has the courage of conviction to follow it where it leads.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
None of them. Historical figures make history, after all.
Who are your heroes in real life?
The people who live with indescribable pain, but who still give their life and light to the world.
What are your favourite names?
For girls: Ayla, Laura, and Leigh. For boys, Jason and Kieran.
What is it that you most dislike?
Wilful ignorance.
What is your greatest regret?
I misplaced a decade between 1990 and 1999. In that time I managed to derail my life.
How would you like to die?
At home, preferably painlessly, surrounded by loved ones.
What is your motto?
Shamelessly stolen from Spider: Shared pain is lessened and shared joy is increased; thus do we refute Entropy.
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