I’ve always loved too easily, too many, more than two
And I refuse to say it’s her I love, not you, or you.
I love you all, no matter what. An ‘us’ there’ll always be—
I love you ‘cause you’re loveable. Is that so hard to see?
Remember back in days of yore— high school, eleventh grade,
That girl I’d blithely kill for, if she asked me, if she made
just one small step towards me? I was mincemeat in her pie
She never did. Almost, not quite. She knew it, so did I.
I played along, I had no choice. She had me in her thrall.
I’d take a scrap of love from her, or anything at all.
She cornered me and took my hand and spoke. “Here’s where it’s at:
“There’ll never be an ‘us’,” she said. “I don’t love you like that.”
Fast forward several years to university and lust
I’d lay anything with half a chance. I’d even lay the dust.
But laying close brings love for me, that’s always been the case…
Love wasn’t in the cards for us, she said. She needed space.
I gave her space, I gave her time. I loved her from afar.
And then one day I went to her, and asked her how things are.
She held me oh so tenderly, and then she said it straight:
“There’ll never be an ‘us’,” she said. “But wow, the sex was great.”
And then I met the woman I would marry and I learned
just how it felt to reap reward of love that I had earned.
I’d never felt the like before. Not sure I ever will.
It’s been seventeen years now and it feels so early still.
Like anyone, we’ve had our ups. We’ve had our downs as well.
But through it all we’ve had each other: still do, you can tell.
We know we’ll be together up until and through the end:
“There’ll always be an ‘us’”, she says. “On that you can depend.”
So this is where a rhyme like this should end, or so it’s said.
But love, it doesn’t work that way, in either heart or head.
We always knew that one day someone else would come along
And maybe someone else again. Or maybe a whole throng.
It took a lot of years for me to finally make her see
She was so lovely that others would love her, not just me.
But once she grasped that fact of life, she eagerly took part:
There’ll always be a ‘them’, I see. And that gladdens my heart.
And me? I fell as quickly. I went right head over heels.
Nothing is quite like knowing that you’re free to feel your feels.
She had a man already, but her love was much like mine
We seemed like kindred spirits. It could only be a sign.
They say that hindsight’s perfect. I wish foresight could be, too.
I shouldn’t have been blinded, should have known before she knew.
I didn’t. I was shocked and deeply hurt to hear her say:
“There’ll never be an ‘us’, you know. I got carried away.”
My heart had not been broken in so very many years.
It used to be a normal state, the heartbreak and the tears.
But after far too long I found my feet and walked away
And set upon a different path, embraced it, come what may.
What came had been there for some time, and growing more and more.
So strange to realize love exists where like had been before.
What’s more, I think she felt it too, at least to a degree
But what is, is, what’s not is not, and this could never be.
I know this. I accept it. Well, the most I feel is wist.
I’ve never hugged her properly, for sure we’ve never kissed.
But I felt a sort of COMFORT when I heard her say this line:
“There’ll never be an ‘us’”, she said. “We didn’t meet in time.”
There are so many others I could mention, but will not.
So many people that I love, so much love that I've got.
What can I say? You're lovely, every one of you. It's true.
And that is why I love you--also you and you, and you.
So here I am beside my darling wife and metamour,
Sensing a new beginning, but not knowing what’s in store.
“There’ll ALWAYS be an ‘us’, I say. “And I stand here, indicted
of loving all of you although my love is not requited.”
“It’s what I have, it’s what I do, it’s what I am, you see—
I love you ‘cause you’re loveable. You mean the world to me.
There are so many of you, more than half the stars above:
There’ll always be an ‘us’, you know. Because that’s how I love.”
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