This day has always felt like a second New Year's Day to me...a day to look back over the year that was in search of things to be grateful for, and to fix those things firmly in my mind in anticipation of more of the same in the year to come.
I've never had to search very hard, at least not since 2000, when I married Eva five days after Thanksgiving. When we started planning the wedding -- on the third date, which is also when I moved in with her -- October suggested itself quite naturally. I still remember telling her that having our anniversary so close to Thanksgiving (the latest Thanksgiving can fall, in fact, is on our anniversary) couldn't be more apt.
It remains so. It is even more so with each passing year, in fact. My wife has always been a woman of many talents and facets, not to mention uncommon depth--depth of understanding, depth of compassion, depth of soul--and I am eternally thankful we found each other.
Which doesn't lessen our gratitude for the others who have found us, who share our life and love, in any way or measure.
This past year has been utterly unprecedented not just in my experience, but in my imagination. I never dreamed that I could summon the courage and determination to put myself out into the world the way I have this past year. Nor could I have envisioned the bounty of the harvest that has resulted, with the possibility, the promise, of more to come.
You're undoubtedly thinking prurient thoughts, here, noting my cryptic and vague phrasing and imagining all sorts of things. This is not something I would encourage, not least because almost all of what you're imagining is wrong.
One thing I've learned over the past year about living poly--and I can finally say that yes, I am living a poly life--is that people make assumptions. It has forced me to draw a curtain of absolute privacy over the life I share not just with my loves, but with my friends as well, lest the latter be mistaken for the former.
I make a point of thanking my loves often, for loving me and accepting my love. I'd like to here and now thank my friends, who know -- in some cases have experienced -- what being seen with me spawns in the mouths of near-strangers, and who still choose to be seen with me. Believe me, that means...a lot.
And I have found both love and friendship in copious, undreamt-of quantity over the last twelve months. I must have done something amazing to deserve you. For the life of me, I can't think what it is. But I am filled to overflowing with gratitude for...all of you.
Life has...stabilized, somewhat, over the past year. I've received a promotion, of a sort, at work (although I've never heard of a promotion that came with a substantial pay cut before). There are growing pains. I struggle some days. This past week has been a struggle, in fact. I am both mentally and physically quite tired.
The day schedule has its pros and cons, but overall is better for my health and peace of mind. The shift structure itself I really like, because my lunch comes somewhere between 11 and noon (I'm off at 3 pm), making for a short afternoon. Oddly for me, though, I find myself wishing the day didn't start so damned early. Eva doesn't get home until almost 9pm and I'm going to bed almost as soon as she gets in the door.
Who knows what the winter's going to bring. There are almost certainly going to be days I'm going to have to walk to work for 6:30 a.m. It's a fifty minute walk on bare and dry pavement. I've never walked it through knee-deep snowdrifts....and if I have to shovel the driveway fir--
Yeah, I'm not going to think about that.
I've been to Grand River Unitarian a few times now, and will be making it a habit. I don't plan on going every Sunday--sometimes the sermon topics bore me into the ground--but most of them, yes. Really like the Reverend there, Jessica Purple Rodela (what a cool middle name...) It really is nice to find a church where nobody cares what you believe or don't believe. It's still bloody far away...but that's less of a problem now that I'm not working Saturday night. In fact, I can stay and socialize now if I want to without people thinking my yawning maw is going to swallow them up.
I'm thankful that community exists. I'm not yet a member of it...but I will be.
I'm thankful I am healthy. That vertigo I experienced last month is entirely gone, which is a very good thing. I've never been off work sick longer than three consecutive days in my life until that.
I'm thankful for our pets--Tux is still alive and kicking, and occasionally even acts like a puppy, even though his eyes are very milky and he can't bound quite like he used to (I'm thankful for that, too). Then there's Mooch the cuddle-slut and Bubbles the Trailer Park Cat, both of them adding to the love in this house.
And finally, dear reader, I'm thankful for you. Without you this Breadbin wuld have closed up shop years ago. Thanks for reading my crazy musings, and talking to me about them. I relish that.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
1 comment:
Happy Thanksgiving Ken.
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