On Giving Thanks

It's like the first of January. Everybody and her pet Gila monster does a blog on the first of January detailing New Year's resolutions. I've always bucked that trend, on account of (a) not seeing anything in my life as a problem requiring a solution (or worse, a "re-solution"); (b) if such a problem really did exist, I could just as easily move to correct it in the middle of July, or on October 8, for that matter.
At this time of year--if you live north of 49--the obvious blog topic du jour is how thankful you are for the things you're thankful for, which things of course you are then required to detail.
I try to be thankful for everything that shows up in my life, because everything--even the really icky stuff, and sometimes especially the really icky stuff--offers an opportunity for self-evolution and self-expression. I don't always succeed at this. Sometimes I'm caught up in the illusion that shit just happens to happen: I can forget that on some level I'm the cause of all my own shit. But by and large my life is pretty stable and satisfying. I believe this is because I make an effort to be stable and satisfied.
The biggest lesson I have yet to teach myself is that I am not separate from the world, much as--most days--I really wish to be. My life may be a source of stability and satisfaction to me, but it's entirely too clear that most people out there are neither stable nor satisfied with either themselves or their surroundings.
I do my best to rub off at least a little on everyone I meet. That's something I learned from my dad, who does the same. But on those doubting depressed days when I question my place in the world, a host of objections can bubble up out of the mental muck. You can't meet everybody. Not everyone wants to be rubbed off upon. And while many people might benefit from a simple (but never easy) paradigm shift, many, many others need more than a redefinition of terms to ensure their stability and satisfaction. Things like nutritious food, clean drinking water, sturdy shelter, and at least as important, the self-assurance that comes with knowing you are the equal of any person you meet.
How the hell does one go about making that change, hmmm? How does one convince the women of Afghanistan that they have every right to go to school without being blown up? How does once convince the Taliban of the same?
How do you tell the people starving and dying of AIDS in the sub-Sahara that you care about them, when most of your society so obviously does not? How can we, in our smug Canadian way, sit down to our turkey dinners and thank God that we are winners, when there are so many losers...some of whom live just down the lane?
There's this guy that shows up on TV every now and again for Christian Children's Fund, and he finds every guiltstring you've got and just yanks on those fuckers. I hate to admit this, but my guiltstrings are in serious danger of snapping, some days. I get cynical. I figure any money I give to Christian Children's Fund will be swallowed up by administration, or it'll end up in some warlord's pocket, or--at best--it'll elevate one kid's status from uncontemplatable to just pitiful for a little while. So I do nothing but jeer at Mr. Guilt when he makes an appearance--sorry, buddy, the twelfth of never was yesterday and you missed me. And damn it all, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty, if that makes any sense.
Sometimes I think we here in Canada--a land that has almost as much fresh water as the rest of the world put together, a land where the standard of living is comparatively stratospheric--have so forgotten adversity that we have no idea we've anything to give thanks for. Newspaper editors spill out all the things they're grateful for today, only the more perceptive of them remembering to include their gratitude that they can turn around and bitch about them tomorrow.
And this, too, is a well-trodden path. We are blessed, even if we don't always recognize it, and we all know it, don't we? So here are some things I'm grateful for that don't tend to make the list:
BOOKS. I feel badly for people with little food. I feel worse for people who are unable to read. Reading has made me forget my hunger for food; reading can teach people where to find food. A good novel can put you another person's head, which can rearrange your own, usually in beneficial ways. Basic literacy should be every person's birthright.
MUSIC. It may lack the practicality of books, but its importance to the human condition can't be understated. Music therapy shows us that song can heal. According to Congreve--often misquoted--"'music has charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." It functions as a window on a culture: even without lyrics one can discern a great deal about a people from their music.
PETS. It has been said that you hate what you do not understand. One thing I have no least wish to understand is how people can abuse animals. My cats and dogs need merely look at me and any negative emotion I have melts away.
A FUNCTIONAL BRAIN. My wife knows--and now all of you do, too--that if my brain ever deteriorates to the point where I can not recognize her, I want out. There may be untold benefits to vegetation, but I don't want to know what they are.
DESPOTISM. Whaaa??? Yes, really. Following my philosophy stated above of being thankful even for distasteful things, I must express my gratitude to tyrants everywhere. They offer the world an opportunity to define itself, to sing out loud and clear, this we will not accept. This is something valuable. Now if only the world unerringly saw the opportunity, and acted on it.
THE WORKING WORLD. Think about it: you're being paid in the only currency the world accepts, to get out of bed and go be with friends for the day. If this doesn't describe your job, do whatever it takes and find a new job.
Finally, JOY. The capacity to feel joy (as far removed from simple happiness as love from like), now that is possibly the greatest reward there is to being human.