Google Ad (Non) Sense

or, SPECIFY TYPE OF GOAT:

You know, there are times when, even confronted with the truth of something, I'll stare you in the face and say it's impossible.
Here's but one example: Google made 1.31 billion dollars (U.S.) in the first three months of this year.
The individual words scan. I know what each one of them means, even if I have some trouble getting my head around a figure like $1310000000.00 (or $5240000000.00, which is what that works out to, annualized). But the sentence, taken altogether, is pure gibberish.
I guess the question that begs to be answered in my mind, if nobody else's, is HOW?!?!?

I mean, last I looked, Google doesn't charge me to search for anything. I can write whatever the hell I want here on this Google-owned blog, and it won't cost a cent...nor does it cost you anything, dear reader, to partake of my words. My homepage is full of iGoogle widgets, most of which serve the occasional research purpose and all of which are free.
Google does what it does exceedingly well. Paraphrasing Richard Jeni, if you type into its search field that you want to have sex with goats which are on fire, it'll like as not come back with "specify type of goat:" Google effectively owns USENET, my first online trolling ground...something which, in that long ago day of 1992, I would have deemed flatly ridiculous. Nevermind the ongoing drama between Microsoft and Yahoo: both those companies are so last year. Sometimes it seems like Google will someday own everything. Your genetic code...the weather...the macrocosm of the universe...all of it, after all, is just information.
But...but...where the aitch-e-double-hockey-sticks are they getting the money?

What's that from the peanut gallery? "Advertising"?

Naw. That couldn't be it. Nobody actually clicks on those ads, right? That'd be like picking up the phone even though your Call Display is showing something like "123-456-7890" (or the just-as-interesting "000-000-0000".)

I'll be honest, even though you're all gonna laugh at me: I literally don't notice probably 90% of the advertising directed my way. If some popup gets past my blocker, I'll x it out without looking at it. Believe it or not, it was a year or more before I even noticed that every other Internet page has clickable ads lining both sides. And still my eyes skitter over all of it without recognition: it's just so much visual chaff.

I know, I'm an odd duck.

I do research things online, but not in the way most people seem to. For instance, say I want to buy a new TV. Odds are overwhelming I'll get it at Future Shop. Why there? Among other reasons, because they haven't screwed us over...yet. I'll know from their flyer--which lands on my front stoop every Friday night--what's on sale amongst the brands of televisions I favour, which, incidentally, all begin with S: Sony, Sharp, Samsung. Why those brands? Nothing to do with their ads, I assure you. On-line at a store I'll flip quickly through an issue of Consumer Reports and file away anything relevant to any purchase I might make in the next year. To narrow it down, I'll hop online and check out Epinions to gather reviews pro and con, but then again, maybe not: Future Shop's site allows you to review products.
No ads clicked. Google not required.

I distrust advertising. Most people do, I think, but my distrust runs deep. Unless it's a new product serving an entirely new need (and there are precious few of those), I truly believe most advertising is completely unnecessary. I work in a grocery store. If you only knew how few companies there actually are manufacturing your food, I think you'd be surprised. There's an illusion of choice, more choice than ever before, in fact, but an illusion is all it is: your money is ultimately going into the same relatively few, very deep pockets.

Maybe my mind is stuck in the 1920s. Back then, business hadn't twigged to the insane (but only when you really think about it) idea of creating needs instead of just fulfilling them.
I tried living a life based on elevating my merest whim into a dire need. It damn near bankrupted me and ultimately left me less fulfilled than I'd been when I started. These days I've learned to live with a certain number of creature comforts...and if I had to abandon any or all of them tomorrow, I think I could do it. In the meantime, I've developed a trust for certain brand names from my own experiences...not from a TV spot.

But again, I'm odd. Telemarketers wouldn't exist if everybody ignored them the way I do. Or...here's an example: ever gone into an adult video store? (Don't blush...) Ever looked at the titles of the various films on offer and gone "yecccch!" I know I have... "who would rent this stuff?" But "sex with goats that are on fire" sells, or it wouldn't be there. Specify type of goat: