In light of what I just wrote, expressing much thanks to and for my wife Eva, this post may sound as if it's coming from the Department of Redundancy Department, Pointless Duplication and Repetitive Repetition Division.
I don't care.
Tomorrow, October 14th, is our 14th anniversary. Though it's worth reiterating we considered ourselves married on the third date, when I moved in with her. The first place we shared was the second floor of an old hulking house east of Kitchener's downtown core--not a good area, but not a bad one either. We've made a couple of steps up in residence, although the home we're in is quite modest. That was by design--I remembered the chaos of the '80s, when interest rates shot well above 20%, and deliberately selected not the nicest house we could afford, but the cheapest home we felt comfortable in. And although we have repeatedly discussed uprooting--including very recently--we have repeatedly decided to stay where we are: the relatively cheap carrying cost of this home allows for life experiences we couldn't have otherwise. Like last month's cruise. Like taking Alexa and Lilyanne--who finally made her appearance two days ago--to Disney once they're of age to appreciate it. Like--well, who knows. Possibilities. Heady things.
Among the many reasons I love Eva so much, though, is that those life experiences include talks in the kitchen or the bathroom, grocery shopping excursions, drives to and from anywhere...the kind of quotidian boredoms that are anything but boring when they are shared with someone so special.
I've written several anniversary paeans over the years, usually coinciding with Thanksgiving. I give thanks to and for Eva every day, of course. Reading through those old posts, I have the weirdest sense that I've said everything I can say about Eva while only getting the words on top.
That's the thing about my wife: even as she has shed countless layers over the past year--nearly 150 pounds and still losing--she has retained her inner layers, of which there are a multitude. I had that sense upon first meeting her, which was one of the things that bound my heart to hers. The depth; the intuitive understanding of love without limit, the empathy that's backed up with tough love when I need it; the way Eva positively affects every life she touches; the fierce intelligence, the fact she just can't help laughing when someone farts, even when that someone is me and you can't even breathe in the room any more--all these things and a myriad more ensured a bond that continues to endure.
Eva has allowed me to continually imagine and then create the next greatest version of the grandest vision I ever had about who I am. In times of emotional turmoil, she's my rock. She has taught, and continues to teach me, so much about what it means to live life well.
For my part, I've tried my best to reciprocate in kind, given that Eva is an older soul than I am. I think I've been of some benefit in quieting her mind...she can now do two things at once without feeling the overwhelming need to do eight more, and she's learned the pleasures and necessities behind relaxing. (Here's a woman who would once have been offended by the very word: "In telling me to re-lax, are you implying I was lax, once?!")
She's gifted me with worlds of words. James Axler's DEATHLANDS series was the first literary boding experience. She had most of the lengthy series: it was one of her most prized possessions. She lent me the first novel, while impressing upon me that this was not something she would normally do--and I was hooked enough to read some twenty more. She's also responsible for my love of the late Gary Jennings, easily the best historical novelist I've come across. In turn, I introduced her to Spider Robinson and later, Robert Heinlein, both of whom have had a profound effect on her, me, and the two of us.
We've done a lot of living. There have been, and doubtless will be, deliriously happy times floated through and soul-crushingly sad times crawled through. Eva has been my wings through the former and my lifeline through the latter and I hope I've been the same for her, and I emphatically choose her, again and again and again, day after day after day.
We are, after fourteen years, traversing new roads with new horizons and I couldn't have a better travelling companion. I love you, love. More than you know, even now.
Happy Anniversary.
No comments:
Post a Comment